Our Perception & Our Anxiety

Our Perception and Our Anxiety

This is very common – the first question you tend to get asked when you meet someone at a party or in a social gathering and they will ask you – “So what do you do?”  And according to how impressive your answer is, people are either keen to get to know you better, or swiftly leave you behind by the nuts. We are anxious because we live in a world of snobs, people who take a tiny part of us – our professional identities – and use these to come to a complete verdict about how valuable we are as humans.

The opposite of a snob is your mother. She doesn’t care about your status; she cares about your soul. Yet most people aren’t our mothers – and that’s why we worry so much about judgement and humiliation.

It’s said that we live in materialistic times. But it’s more poignant than that. We live in times where emotional rewards have been pegged to the acquisition of material things like big car, big house, expensive mobile, expensive shoes, bags, watches etc. What people want when they go after money when big jobs or fancy cars is rare things they want for themselves but they want mostly the attention and the respect. If you have “the love” type that are given to those people who have them. Next time if you see a guy driving by in a Ferrari don’t think it is someone unusually greedy; think it is someone with particularly intense vulnerability and need for love.

We are also anxious because we are constantly told that we could become anything in our life and we hear it from our earliest day. It should be great that if there is lot of opportunity in this modern world. But what if we fail in such a world – what if you don’t manage to get to the top when there was said to be every chance?

The ‘self-help’ shelves of bookstores are filled with two kinds of books that capture the modern anxious condition. The first have titles like – ‘How to make it big in 15 minutes’ and ‘Be an overnight millionaire’. The second have titles like: ‘How to cope with low self-esteem’. The two genres are related. A society that tells people they could have everything, but we are in fact only a tiny minority can, will end up with a lot of dissatisfaction and grief.

There is a related problem: our societies are – to a large extent – deemed to be “fair”. Back in the olden days, you knew the system was rigged. It wasn’t your fault if you were a peasant and not to your credit if you were the lord. But now we are told our societies are meritocracies; places where rewards go to those who really merit them; the hardworking cleaver among us. It sounds lovely – but there is a nasty sting in this tale. If you really believe in a society where those at the top deserve to get there, that’s mean those are at the bottom deserve to be there too. Meritocracies make poverty seem not just unpleasant, but  also somehow deserved.

In medieval England, people used to call the poor ‘unfortunates’: literally, people who had not been blessed by the God or Goddess of fortune. Nowadays especially in the US where meritocracy is big, they call them – rather tellingly – ‘losers’.

We scarcely believe in ‘luck’ nowadays as something that explains where we end up. No one will believe you if you say you are fired because of ‘bad luck’. Your professional position has become the central verdict on your character. No wonder suicide rate rise exponentially the moment a society joins the so-called ‘modern world’.

So the question is – how can we cope with this modern world? First off, by refusing to believe that any society really ever can be meritocratic: luck or accident continue to determine a critical share of where people end up in the hierarchy. Treat no one – not least yourself – as though they entirely deserve to be where they are. Secondly, make up your own definition of success instead of uncritically leaning on societies. There are so many ways to succeed, and many of them have nothing to do with status as it is currently defined within the value system of industrial capitalism. Those who succeed at making money rarely succeed at empathy or family life. Thirdly, and the most importantly, we should refuse to let our outer achievements define our sense of self entirely. There remain so many vital sides of us that will never appear on our business card, that do not stand a chance of being captured by that maddeningly blunt and unimaginative question – ‘So What Do You Do?’

I am a …



By – Nijhum Sarkar

Stay Away From GYM To Lose Weight

Stay away from GYM

Myth: We stop eating when our stomach is full, right?

“Believe it or not, this is wrong. We don’t stop eating because our stomach is full except in very extreme cases. In reality, scientists don’t know exactly what makes us feel full. It seems to be a combination, among other things, of how much we chew, how much we taste, how much we swallow, how much we think about the food, and how long we have been eating. What does seem to be the case is that the faster we eat our food, the more we eat, because this combination of cues doesn’t get the chance to tell us we are no longer hungry. Many research studies show that it takes up to 20 minutes for our body and brain to signal satiation, so that we realize we are full.” -Brian Wansink (PhD).

Every day on average, we each make around 200 decisions about eating. But studies have shown that 90% of these decisions are made without our conscious thought and lead to mindless eating.

Basic Formula for Weight Lose:

This is a basic rule of thumb if you make a change on your food habit, there is an easy way to estimate how much weight you will lose in a year. You simply divide the calories by 10.That is roughly the number of pounds you will lose.

One less 270 calorie CANDY bar each day = 27 fewer pounds a year = 12.24 Kg a year!

One less 140 calorie SOFT DRINK (Coke & Pepsi) each day = 14 fewer pounds a year= 6.3 Kg a year!

One less 420 calorie DONUT each day= 42 fewer pounds a year= 19 Kg a year!

Note: 1 pound=0.45 Kg (Kilogram), the same idea will works with burning calories – walking one extra mile a day is 100 calories and 10 pounds a year. Exercise is good but for most people it’s a lot easier to give up a candy bar/soft drink than to walk 2.7 miles to a vending machine.


Strategy – 1: Replace your 10 inch plate with an 8 inch plate – Larger plates always lead to larger food intake. A two inch difference in plate diameter — from 10″ to 8″ plates — would result in 22% fewer calories being served, yet it is not drastic enough to trigger a counteracting response. If a typical dinner has 800 calories, a smaller plate would lead to a weight lose of around 18 pounds per year for an average size adult.


Strategy – 2: Mini-size your boxes, bowls or eat with chopsticks – The bigger the bowls or boxes you pour from, the more you will eat: 20% to 30% more for most foods. People tend to eat more or less depending on the greater or lesser size of plates, bowls, serving spoons, serving bowls, and serving sizes. Also, research shows that people pour more drink into and drink more from a short, fat glass than a tall, thin glass. Greater or lesser variety of food types and colors encourage greater or lesser consumption. Repackage your jumbo box or bowls into smaller Ziploc bags or Tupperware containers, and serve it up in smaller dishes (8″ plates).


Strategy – 3: Serving vegetables first – Before starting any dinner start with vegetables first. This is how you can keep yourself from reaching out for more food, and can also track the amount of food you consume.


Strategy – 4: Think 20 percent less – This is a Japanese concept call hara hashi bu – eating until you are just 80% full. Dish out 20% less than you think you might want before you start to eat. In most studies, people can eat 20% less without noticing it. If they eat 30% less, they realize it, but 20% is still under the radar screen. For fruits and vegetables, think 20% more.

Strategy – 5: Serving tasty dishes from kitchen – Believe it or not, but when the main dish is served from the counter or stove, we consumed less. Make sure every time you finish your food; you must walk to the counter to take food in your plate again.

Strategy – 6: See it before you eat it – Put everything you want to eat on a plate before you start eating – snacks, dinners, ice cream, and even chips. Also, instead of eating directly out of a package or box, put your snack in a separate dish and leave the box in the kitchen. You’ll be less likely to eat more food.

Strategy – 7: Eat slowly Slow eaters tend to eat less, feel more full and rate their meals as more pleasant than fast eaters. Scientists believe that taking at least 20–30 minutes to finish a meal allows more time for the body to release hormones that promote feelings of fullness. The extra time also allows the brain to realize you’ve eaten enough before you reach for that second serving. Eating with your non-dominant hand or using chopsticks instead of a fork are two easy ways to reduce your eating speed and make this tip work for you. Chewing more often can also help.

Strategy – 8: Turn your TV, smart phone, radio and computer game off – Eating while you’re distracted can lead you to eat faster, feel less full and mindlessly eat more. You eat more while watching TV, which is why, keeping your TV set off, is one of the important things to do. For instance, people watching television while eating their meals ate 36% more pizza and 71% more macaroni and cheese. Scientists note that longer distractions extend the amount of time spent eating, making you more likely to overeat. In addition, eating while distracted may cause you to forget how much you’ve consumed, leading to overeating later in the day.

Strategy – 9: Keep foods or snacks in an inconvenience place – By keeping all foods in an inconvenience place will automatically limit your food intake.  Adding extra effort will allow you to reduce the chance of overeating. Put all kind of snacks or cookies hard-to-reach cupboard to resist yourself to eat more.

Strategy – 10: Avoid eating in a group – Research show that when you are with 1 other person you will eat 35% more, with a group of 4 it’s 75% more and with 7 or more it’s 96% more! So do conscious thought next time you are in a group. When dining in groups, sit next to people who eat less or slow eater than you. This can help you to eat less.

Strategy – 11: Less variety, less eating – Research shows that having a wider variety of food in your daily menu lead you to eat up to 23% more. Reduce the variety of food, flavors, colors and textures can help you to eat less than your body needs.

Few more strategies:

  • Avoid having too many foods on the table. The more variety there is, the more people will eat.
  • Eat fruit for dessert instead of more indulgent choices.
  • Practice and make a habit of “Half-Plate Rule”. Half the plate is filled with vegetables and the other half is protein and starch.
  • Chewing gum can distract you away from the 4 C’s: Chips, Cookies, Ice Cream and Candy.
  • Chew gum to prevent eating from boredom or stress.
  • If you plan to attend a dinner party or a buffet-style dinner, arrive late or leave early. If you arrive late, most of the good stuff will be gone by the time you show up. Leave early and you will make it easier to avoid a dessert.
  • When you go out for dinner use the “Rule of Two”: Limit yourself to two of the following: an appetizer, a drink, or a dessert. Pick any two.
  • Replace every other soft drink with water. We often think we are hungry when instead we are simply thirsty. Fill up your water bottle a number of times each day.
  • If you want dessert, see if someone will share it. The best part of a dessert is the first two bites.
  • If you feel hungry and want to have some snacks, try yogurt and water or can of tuna fish instead. Protein can replace your craving for the snack.

Point to ponder:

  1. A study of 854 children under three years old showed that a child is nearly three times as likely to grow up obese if one of his parents is obese. If you are overweight, your child has a 65% to 75% chance of growing up to be overweight.
  2. There was a great study where 1 group of people ate chicken wings and their bones were kept in front of them. In the other group, the plates were cleared every 15 minutes or so.
    Who do you think ate less? The group who saw all of their bones.
  3. “Low-fat” labels are a prime example, because foods low in fat are not necessarily low in calories. For instance, “low-fat” granola is typically only 10% lower in calories than regular-fat granola.
  4. Another study compared calorie intake from Subway versus McDonald’s. Those who ate at Subway consumed 34% more calories than they thought they did, while those who ate at McDonald’s ate 25% more than they thought. Researchers noted that the Subway clients tended to reward themselves for their supposedly healthy meal choice by ordering chips or cookies with their meal.
  5. It seems that the longer the movie or show, the more food you’re likely to eat. One study noted that participants watching a 60-minute show ate 28% more popcorn than those watching a 30-minute show.
  6. Researchers found that participants given bowls with 10 colors of M&Ms ate 43 more candies than those given bowls with 7 colors, despite all M&Ms tasting the same.

Last but not least, I did start going to gym last year and lost 4.5 kg (9.92 lbs) within 3 weeks time and less than three months I have lost 9 kg (19.84 lbs) weight. But I have stopped going gym almost eight months now but I still keep the same body weight just following the above strategies. It’s estimated that over 95% of all people who lose weight on a diet gain it back. Of course, going to gym and follow all the instructions regularly will help you to lose weight and burn your extra calories but this is an alternative solution suggested by various scientists, nutritionists and researchers based on their experiments. Remember this quote – “The best diet is the one you don’t know you’re on.

Thanks and cheers!


By – Émile Ajar





My plan was to finish reading at least one book within a week but it is quite impossible because of so many distractions around me. I believe it is also true for you and true for so many others as well. Most of the time digital distractions pulled us from anything you plan to accomplish. I believe it is become plague for all of us in different extents.  It is become our habit of distraction; let me put it this way – we are become ‘addict’ from one to another.

One of the most challenging part of distracted habit is we often don’t even realize it is actually happening.  It sneaks up on us and before we know that we are become addicted and powerless and obviously turn ourselves into our addiction. But actually we are not powerless. The power we have is our awareness, and we can develop it by forming habit. The most common distraction nowadays are social media sites/apps (Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, YouTube etc.) or it could be your mobile or computer or TV. So just pay attention to what kind of social media sites you visit and how long you want to spend with it, how often you’re looking at your phone and how long you’re spending in front of a screen all day. When we are aware of these distractions and urge, we can easily identify the causes and examine its effect precisely.

Realization when it happening: FoMO or “Fear of missing out” – is the popular buzz word around us nowadays. From the perspective of psychological needs according to Przybylski, A. K., Murayama, K., DeHaan, C. R., & Gladwell, V. (2013), FoMO is characterized by “a desire to stay continually connected with what others are doing”.  A psychological dependence to being online could result in anxiety when one feels disconnected, thereby leading to a fear of missing out or even pathological Internet use. A great write-up done by Wortham, J. (April 10, 2011) – “Feel like a wall flower? Maybe it’s your Facebook wall” on NY Times where Wortham mentioned FoMO is perceived to have negative influences on people’s psychological health and well-being, because it could contribute to people’s negative mood and depressed feelings.

As per Wikipedia – Fear of missing out (FoMO) refers to the apprehension that one is not in-the-know or one is out of touch with some social events, experiences, and interactions. People who grapple with FoMO might not know exactly what they are missing, but can still hold a fear that others are having a much better time or having a much more rewarding experience on the spur of the moment. FoMO could result from a variety of social activities in which one is absent, such as a conversation, a TV show, a wedding, a party, or a delicious restaurant in the town. FoMO is also defined as a fear of regret, which may lead to a compulsive concern that one might miss an opportunity for social interaction, a novel experience, profitable investment or other satisfying event. In other words, FoMO perpetuates the fear of having made the wrong decision on how to spend time, as “you can imagine how things could be different”.

#What’s going on: Distractions, of course, are often about the fear of missing out. We can’t possibly take part in every cool thing that everyone else is doing, but we also don’t want to miss out on any of it. So we look online for what’s going on, what other people are doing and saying, what’s hot. None of that actually matters. What matters is being content, doing things that make people’s lives better, share your knowledge and expertise, being compassionate and empathetic. So let’s go of what we’re missing out on, and focus on the difference we want to make in the world.

Take Action & Habit-Forming: Research shows that it takes 66 days to form any kind of habit. So we can build awareness and form a good habit rather than distracted one. Before taking action or form a habit, try to consider few things and ask yourself – What’s truly important to you? Social media? News? What everyone else is doing all the time? Games? Gossiping?

As a human being we try to do everything, but then we’re not really focusing on anything. We are not going to make any of our little fantasies come true if we pursue all of them. What is the one thing you want to pursue right now? Can you focus on that for at least a month or a week or a day? If not, maybe it is not that important to you. What are the most important things in your life? Pick 3 or 5 at the most. How much of your time is devoted to these things? Can you cut out other things to focus on these? Can you give your 4 most important things your full attention?

Consider taking one or more of these for a month or a week or a day:

  1. Try to block your favorite distractions for a few hours. Games, social media sites, news sites or video sites. You don’t really need to engage all the time with them that often.
  2. Determine and fix a particular time or a day of the week when you can check social media status and other messages. You can fix the time of usages social media 10 minutes break at 10 a.m., 1 p.m., and 4 p.m. or while you waiting for your train/bus ( I always follow this). You can write that down. Stick to it.
  3. Get away. Go outside for a walk. Take a walk at your lunch time and explore. Or, ride your bike. Or, go for a run. Or, take the kids to the park.
  4. Meditate. Sit just a couple of minutes, without any distractions, and put your attention on your breath. Return to the breath when you get distracted.
  5. Read a paper book. Close all screens and just give yourself some quiet reading time.
  6. Delete distracting apps from your phone. Games, social media, whatever you tend to turn to when you want a bump of distraction.
  7. Eat without a device (mobile/TV/tab) and eat with your family and talk. Pay attention to your food. Notice the textures, flavors, colors, healthfulness that you’re putting into the temple of your body.

I want to jump on conclusion by referring an analogy given by Sir Ken Robinson on his book ‘The Element’ – he mentioned “Farmers base their livelihoods on raising crops. But farmers do not make plants grow. They don’t attach the roots, glue on the petals, or color the fruit. The plant grows itself. Farmers and gardeners provide the conditions for growth. Good farmers know what those conditions are, and bad ones don’t. Understanding the dynamic elements of human growth is as essential to sustaining human cultures into the future as the need to understand the ecosystems of the natural world on which we ultimately depend.”

So ask yourself what is truly important to you?


By – Doctor Who



Divergent thinking is not as same as Creativity!

Creativity is the process of having original ideas that have values.

Btw, divergent thinking isn’t a synonym but an essential capacity for Creativity. It is ability to see lots of possible answers to a questions/lots of ways to interpret a question.

Think laterally not linear or convergent way.

Lateral Thinking: is solving problems through an indirect and creative approach, using reasoning that is not immediately obvious and involving ideas that may not be obtainable by using only traditional step-by-step logic. The term was coined in 1967 by Edward De Bono.


By – Kabbo Ahmed


5 Tips To Improve Critical Thinking2

Must have the following –

  • You need to excite people with the materials.
  • You need to engage them.
  • You need to pick their imagination.
  • You need to fuel them with their creativity.
  • You need to drive their passion for it.
  • You need to get them to learn this.
  • You need to find the points of entry.


By – O’Sen

5 Tips To Improve Critical Thinking

5 Tips To Improve Critical Thinking

Following 5 tips which can improve your critical thinking –

  1. Formulate your question : Know what are you looking for.
  2. Gather your information :  Ask experts or seek other people’s opinions.
  3. Apply the information : asking critical questions, ask yourself
    • What concept it will work?
    • What assumption exist?
    • Is my interpretation logically sound good?
  4. Consider the implications: what could be the implications of your action in future. For example – if gas price become cheap it can cause a lot of air pollution, so consider your thoughts in future as well.
  5. Explore others points of view: look for what opinion other people have and what are they thinking about the tropic you are thinking of.